Addendum: “So, you’re going back to Normalsville!”

1. October 2009 by Edie.

I felt the need to make one more entry on this blog as food for thought (for myself and for everyone who reads it).  Upon our graduation day 9/18, we were given this letter (with the above title) from Pat and Linda along with our certificates.  I will type it word for word, so you can all benefit from it:

“We want to thank you for the time you have spent with us.  You’ve taken a big chunk out of your life to be with us and for this time you have been part of our lives; we’ve shared a few steps of our horsemanship journey together.

We want to give you some ideas about what to expect when you get home from here, and some guidance on how to cope with some of the situations and emotions you may encounter.

“I thought I was prepared . . .”

Here are some quotes taken from a letter we got from one student who had spent a lot of time with us, and wrote to share her experiences and perceptions after she got home:

” . . . I thought I was prepared, but I hadn’t anticipated the culture shock I would endure when I got home.  I figured I would notice more lack of savvy in the people around me and pick out the unhappy horses.  But I didn’t realize the impact it would have on me.  Everything is so negative!  People are cut throats with what they think they know about horses.  The biggest opinions come from the people that don’t even ride!  It’s really sad.  I promised myself that I would not say a word unless I saw a horse about to explode or somebody about to get hurt.  In the past it really didn’t work out when I would offer suggestions without thinking about it first.  I realize now that my suggestions didn’t matter, because the people hadn’t asked for my opinion, or really weren’t interested in making a change.”

“Negativity is like quicksand . . .”

“I really miss the camaraderie of Parelli.  Being with like-minded people who have the same thing in common is hard to beat.  Everything is pretty negative around here; it takes a toll on me.  It makes me tired, actually.  I can feel my own attitude shift and thankfully, I can recognize it and get myself out of it before I get sucked in.  Negativity is like quicksand - the deeper you sink, the harder it is to get out.  If you can’t manage to pull yourself out, you’ll get swallowed up and choke.  I suppose it’s everywhere, but if it weren’t for my husband . . . I would feel like turning around and running right back to the Parelli Center!”

“The best example I can be . . .”

“The biggest gifts I walk away with are knowing tht I have the CONFIDENCE to know where I am going, the KNOWLEDGE to get there, and the SUPPORT that’s available through the Savvy Club.  I still have quite a long way to go, but I am ok with it.  I want to do it the right way.  Not some quick fix short cut that bites you later.  The best I can do is to be the best example I can be of a Parelli Student and hope they ask me a question, so I can send them your way!”

Responsible - “response-able”

This student made some very astute observations about how negativity can affect us.  Most of us don’t realize while we are at the Parelli Center, how much of a break we get from the “real world” out there.

Our Western culture is strongly driven by media and advertising.  Everybody wants to sell us something - a quick fix or a solution that doesn’t involve effort on our part.  This teaches us to be externally driven.  When we have a problem, we look around outside ourselves for someone to blame and someone to give us a solution.  This breeds two things: pessimism and victimism (the feeling that life is happening TO us and there is nothing we can do inside ourselves to take control). 

This is why, when Pat and Linda built the Parelli Centers, they set out to create an environment where people could get a break from the constant programming of the media, and learn instead to create their own programming, design their own life, and choose their own emotions and responses to things.

Break down the work “responsible” and you can see that it’s not too much of a stretch to get to “response-able.” Meaning, “able to choose your own response.”  Many folks have never had a chance to develop the emotional fitness to choose their own response to things - they just run with the response that peer pressure and the culture choose for them.

So, if you’ve been here at the Parelli Center with us for a while and now you are going home, you may get a shock to discover that you have changed, and the rest of the world has not!  Don’t be surprised, and don’t let it rattle you - just hang in there with what you know to be true, and try not to judge those around you who (with the best of intentions) might try to drag you back into the negative, reactive world they live in.

They only live in that negative world, because they don’t know there is an alternative - and one of the best ways for them to have a chance to see that there is an alternative is simply for you to go about doing your own thing and quietly set the best example you can.  At the end of the day, action speaks louder than words. 

We’re all doing the best we can with whatever knowledge we have available to us . . .

Please, try to remember that the people around you are doing the best they can with whatever information they have right now.  Above all, don’t make people wrong for what they don’t know.  Remember the material from the Leadership Lectures in Courses 1 and 2 and use that to help you focus on you and your horse.  Focusing on what you learned here, rather than on what is wrong with the world out there, will sustain you during the difficult times.

Besides what might have happened to your attitude while you were with us (!) you have also been exposed to horsemanship information that even world-class equestrians and trainers do not know, which is why some of them are turning to Pat and Linda for help.  You are not who you were when you left home, so don’t be too surprised if you find you have some adjusting to do. 

We hope that this helps in your journey and we look forward to welcoming you back whenever you can return for another respite from the real world!

Until then, keep it natural,

Linda and Pat

John, Kathy, Kristi, Avery, Julia, on-site Parelli Professionals & and whole Parelli Team!!!

Posted in 2009 ISC | 3 Comments »